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Mark - The Mindfulness Guru! Click or Tap here

Welcome to Mark Lockyer's web site!

"I help stressed, anxious or worried clients go from feeling overwhelmed and stuck to feeling more empowered and better able to manage day to day life"

Welcome, I'm Mark Lockyer a counsellor, therapist, coach, mindfulness guru and mentor dedicated to making the World a better place by supporting those troubled with life psychologically, emotionally and spiritually, to live more fully in the present moment, right here, right now, despite what may be happening (grief, stress, trauma, anxiety, depression - insert your concern or problem here).

I offer a unique blend of therapeutic approaches designed to empower you on your journey toward healing and personal growth. At the heart of my practice are four key modalities: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Polyvagal Theory, Absurdism, and Trauma Theory. Let's explore how each of these approaches can benefit you:

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): ACT is a powerful and evidence-based therapy or training that helps individuals develop psychological flexibility and resilience in the face of life's challenges. Through mindfulness-based techniques (here mindfulness refers to the ability to get back to the present moment rather than be led off into the future with worrying, anxiety provoking, fearful thoughts - lots of 'what ifs?' and the need for control. Mindfulness is not about meditation, more the ability to get our minds back to right here, right now). ACT is also guided by values-driven action. ACT empowers you to embrace your thoughts and feelings, let go of unhelpful patterns, and commit to actions that align with your deepest values (here a value refers to your 'north direction' - am i headed in the direction of what I know will benefit my well being? Not to be confused with 'goals' that best come after we have worked out what it is we want from life in the domains of work, relationships, family etc. Goals help us stay true to that north direction). Together, we'll cultivate a sense of acceptance, compassion, and purpose that enables you to live a rich, meaningful life.

Polyvagal Theory: Grounded in biology and the study of human connection, Polyvagal Theory offers profound insights into how our nervous system shapes our responses to stress, trauma, and social interactions. As Stephen Porges, the creator of Polyvagal Theory says "Imagine what the World would be like if everybody felt safe?" By understanding the intricate interplay between our autonomic nervous system (fight, flight or freeze responses) and our social engagement system (the need to belong and feel safe), we can work together to regulate your physiological arousal, enhance our sense of safety and connection, and restore balance to our nervous system.

Absurdism: Inspired by the existential philosophy of Albert Camus, Absurdism invites us to confront life's inherent uncertainties and absurdities with courage, humor, and authenticity. Absurdism allows us to explore the paradoxes of existence (good things happen to bad people, bad things happen to good people), embrace the freedom of choice in the face of meaninglessness, and discover the profound beauty and absurdity of being human. Through a blend of philosophy and changing our mindset, you'll gain a deeper understanding of yourself, your values, and your place in the world.

Trauma Theory: Trauma Theory offers a compassionate and holistic framework for understanding the impact of past trauma on our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. By honoring our unique experiences and resilience, we gently explore the ways in which trauma has shaped our life and relationships. With trauma-informed approaches, we create a safe and supportive space for healing, processing difficult emotions, and reclaiming our sense of agency and wholeness. Think of trauma not only as catastrophic events (car crash, life threatening injury etc.) but also as higher levels of ongoing stress - living in an abusive relationship, feeling stuck in a job with a work culture that doesn't care, ongoing bullying that you feel you cannot escape, any event that is ongoing that triggers our fight, flight, freeze response in a seemingly consistent way, putting us on edge repeatedly, adversely affecting the quality of our life in this present moment. Trauma is not what happens to us but what happens inside us - how we respond, react.

My mission is to support you in navigating life's challenges, finding meaning in adversity, and embracing your full potential. Whatever struggles you may be facing, know that you are not alone (it is after all, the human condition - what it means to be human), and support is available. Together, we'll embark on a journey of self-discovery, growth, and transformation.

The-Great-Wave-off-Kanagawa-by-Katsushika-Hokusai

"The Great Wave off Kanagawa"
by Katsushika Hokusai


"The Great Wave off Kanagawa" holds significance in navigating life's hardships through its depiction of resilience, adaptability, and the enduring power of human spirit in the face of adversity. Here's how:

  1. Symbol of Resilience: The towering wave in Hokusai's print symbolizes the challenges and obstacles that life often presents. Just as the fishermen in their fragile boats confront the immense wave, we too encounter turbulent times and uncertainties in our lives. The wave serves as a reminder that hardships are a natural part of the human experience, but like the fishermen, we possess the resilience and inner strength to navigate through them.
  2. Embracing Impermanence: In Japanese culture, the concept of "mujo" or impermanence is deeply ingrained, emphasizing the transient nature of existence. The wave, frozen in time yet perpetually in motion, embodies this notion of impermanence. It reminds us that life is ever-changing, and just as the wave rises and falls, so too do our circumstances. By embracing the impermanent nature of life, we can find solace in knowing that even the most challenging moments will eventually pass.
  3. Finding Calm Amidst Chaos: Despite the tumultuous nature of the wave, Mount Fuji stands tall and serene in the background, symbolizing stability, strength, and inner peace. In times of hardship, we can draw inspiration from Mount Fuji's unwavering presence, learning to find moments of calm amidst the chaos. By cultivating a sense of inner peace and mindfulness, we can weather life's storms with grace and resilience.
  4. Unity with Nature: Hokusai's print highlights the interconnectedness of humans and nature, portraying a harmonious yet dynamic relationship between the two. In navigating life's hardships, we can find solace in reconnecting with the natural world and drawing strength from its beauty and resilience. Just as the fishermen rely on the sea for their livelihood, we can draw upon the wisdom of nature to guide us through life's challenges.

Overall, "The Great Wave off Kanagawa" serves as a powerful metaphor for navigating life's hardships with resilience, grace, and a sense of interconnectedness with the world around us. It reminds us that while challenges may be inevitable, we possess the strength and inner resources to rise above them and emerge stronger on the other side.

"The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free
that your very existence is an act of rebellion."
Albert Camus

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Feeling anxious, stressed,
not in a good way right now?
Try ACE - Dropping Anchor

From Russ Hariss' "The Happiness Trap"

How To ‘Drop Anchor’
What is ‘Dropping Anchor’ and How Does It Help?

Dropping anchor is a very useful skill. You can use it for handling difficult thoughts, feelings, emotions, memories, urges and sensations more effectively; switching off auto-pilot and engaging in life; grounding and steadying yourself in difficult situations; disrupting rumination, obsessing and worrying; focusing your attention on the task or activity you are doing; developing more self-control; and as a ‘circuit-breaker’ for impulsive, compulsive, aggressive, addictive or other problematic behaviours.

What is involved?

Dropping anchor involves playing around with a simple formula:

ACE

A: Acknowledge your thoughts and feelings
C: Come back into your body
E: Engage with the world around you and in what you’re doing

A: Acknowledge your thoughts and feelings

Silently and kindly acknowledge whatever is ‘showing up’ inside you: thoughts, feelings, emotions, memories, sensation, urges. Take the stance of a curious scientist, observing what’s going on in your inner world. And while continuing to acknowledge your thoughts and feelings, also ….

C: Come back into your body

Come back into and connect with your physical body. Find your own way of doing this. You could try some or all of the following, or find your own methods:

Slowly pushing your feet hard into the floor.

Slowly straightening up your back and spine; if sitting, sitting upright and forward in your chair.

Slowly pressing your fingertips together

Slowly stretching your arms or neck, shrugging your shoulders.

Slowly breathing

Note: you are not trying to turn away from, escape, avoid or distract yourself from what is happening in your inner world. The aim is to remain aware of your thoughts and feelings, continue to acknowledge their presence …. and at the same time, come back into and connect with your body. In other words, you are expanding your focus: aware of your thoughts and feelings, and also aware of your body while actively moving it. And while acknowledging your thoughts and feelings, and connecting with your body, also ….

E: Engage in what you’re doing

Get a sense of where you are and refocus your attention on the activity you are doing.
Find your own way of doing this. You could try some or all of the following suggestions, or find your own methods:

*Look around the room and notice 5 things you can see
*Notice 3 or 4 things you can hear
*Notice what you can smell or taste or sense in your nose and mouth
*Notice what you are doing

End the exercise by giving your full attention to the task or activity at hand.
Ideally, run through the ACE cycle slowly 3 or 4 times, to turn it into a 2- 3 minute exercise.

NOTE: please don’t skip the A of ACE; it’s so important to keep acknowledging the thoughts and feelings present, especially if they are difficult or uncomfortable. If you skip the A, this exercise will turn into a distraction technique – which it’s not supposed to be.

What's the point of this practise?

There are many possible purposes for practicing this skill. Most of them are listed above, but in addition, this skill is often used as a first step in handling flashbacks, panic attacks, chronic pain, and many other issues.

Modify this as needs

If you’re pushed for time, just do a 30 second version: run through the ACE cycle once. If you’re up for a challenge, run through the ACE cycle extremely slowly, over and over, for 5 to 10 minutes.

There are literally hundreds of ways to modify this exercise, to accommodate your needs (e.g. physical pain) or overcome any difficulties you may have with it. Please feel free to contact me how to do so.

Practise often!

Also remember, you can practise these kinds of exercises, any time, any place, any activity.

And it’s a good idea to practise them often in less challenging situations, when your thoughts and feelings are less difficult, so you can build up your skill levels.

Over time, the idea is to use this in more challenging situations, when your thoughts and feelings are more difficult.

Click or tap on the speaker below to hear
an audio recording of the ACE process

When you first start practising ACE, find a quite place with minimal distractions. Make yourself comfortable, perhaps sitting in a chair and have a head set on to listen clearly to the audio. Good luck!
(The audio will open in a new window)

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